Continuing on from our last article where we finished by making mention of THE GAME PLAN.
Text Message To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
So here, we will begin to work through the plan, starting out with…
Some Important Things to Realize Before You Make Contact with Your Ex
Prior to contacting your ex, there are a few rules that you need to abide by. These rules are laid out so that you have a really good shot at winning your guy back. Let’s check those rules out now:
1. You should control the conversation. You should be the one who is ‘responsible’ for bringing the conversation to a close. You want to be in CONTROL.
2. For good reason, you want your ex to only be thinking about the more positive experiences you had together.
3. You’ll also need to be aware of what it is that you and your ex had and what made your time together so special. I’d suggest that you brainstorm this one using a pen and paper to note your thoughts.
4. You should also be aware of what it is that he didn’t like about your relationship. That might be a bit tricky, but should be do-able.
5. You should have a good level of awareness as to his likes and his dislikes. I mean, for example, you can’t possibly begin to talk about a time or place that he really disliked, even though you enjoyed yourself, and expect that the conversation will go well.
6. It might take some time before he’ll be receptive to your messages.
7. The general rule is – the faster things move along, the worse it could turn out. That said, take things SLOWLY.
8. Don’t be tempted to go spamming your ex with text messages. If there’s no response to the first message, just give it a couple of days before you try again.
9. You should never come over as being ‘needy’.
10. Try your best to remain patient, and positive.
Text Message To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back-The First Contact Text Message
Fact: first impressions are sooooo important. Don’t forget that! How you go about approaching this first point of contact is as important, if not more so, as the text messages that will be used as the follow-up.
Why so? Simply because if you mess this up, you can, with all intents-and-purposes, kiss your chances of getting back with your ex a big fat GOODBYE… ADIOS!
That said, the main goal here, at this point in time, is merely to open up a channel of communication. But do remember, you want to retain control! In which case, you should be the one who ends the conversation, each and every time.
However, to make matters that bit more complicated, you should NOT get involved in a full-out conversation with him – just yet. What we are doing here is actually taking a ‘baby step’.
A baby step that you use to test the waters out, and by doing so, you can get some sort of gauge as to where you are at right now with respect to the potential there is for getting back with your ex.
The Big No-No’s
Yup, there are a few, of course there are…
- The message is not at all about rekindling old sexual flames (it’s not a booty call).
- You should NEVER get angry, or upset (or if you do, please don’t let him know about it).
- You should manage your expectations. In other words, you should not be expecting ‘anything’.
- This first text message is not a cure-all message that will repair all that’s gone before.
- Do not be tempted to ask him to meet with you (yet).
- Don’t make your ex think too much about what you are trying to achieve. In other words, keep your messages short and sweet.
The Rules of First Contact
- You should (try to) remain positive
- You should (try to) remain confident in what you are aiming to achieve
- Once more, don’t be expecting anything
- You should NOT send any one word text messages – each of your messages must have a point
- On the other hand, your messages should not be overly long
- Your intentions should be to endeavor to craft a message that is so interesting (in whatever fashion) that it’s nigh-on impossible for your ex to avoid responding to you
And here we have a few one-worders that ought to be avoided:
- As mentioned above, one word texts like these…
“Hello…”, “Hey…”, “Hi…”, “What’s up?”
Okay, so the last example is two words, but you get the overall drift.
And here we have a few GOOD examples:
- For a couple who are Harry Potter lovers…
“I just came across one of my Harry Potter DVD’s and it made me think of you. In honesty, it made me smile J”
- For those couples who really enjoyed eating out together…
“I just ate at a new pizzeria and I thought of you. I remember just how much you loved your pizza…”
How to progress if you receive a positive response?
For the Harry Potter example…
Reply from ex: “I remember those movies well. How are you?”
Your response: “I’m good, thanks. I’m just about to go out and get some dinner with some friends. Take good care!”
There are a few pointers to pay attention to. The communication was friendly, short, and ended on a positive note, with you in CONTROL! And this is the sort of thing you should be aiming for. And I know for a fact (well, almost for a fact) that your ex will be considering this text for the next few days to come!
Because it was a positive first communication, you can get in touch with them once more in a few days-time, and chat a bit more. Nevertheless, keep in mind that the conversation should still be relatively short, and you still have to maintain control by ending it.
What about if you receive a neutral response to your message?
Typically, a neutral response would be in the one-word format, such as:
“Thanks” or “tnx”
Not so good. But there’s a way to deal with the neutrality:
Just respond in much the same way that you would if you had received a positive response.
Here’s an example:
- “I just came across one of my Harry Potter DVD’s and it made me think of you. In honesty, it made me smile J”
- “That’s cool…”
- I’m just about to go out and get some dinner with some friends. Take care and hope you are well!
And how to proceed if the response is negative?
A negative response is going to provoke a negative emotional reaction from you, no doubting it. It surely does suck, and, it can feel like the world is about to end, particularly so if you’ve invested a lot of time and effort into the getting your ex-boyfriend back scenario.
Thus, in such a case, it’s wise not to respond at all. Try to understand that your ex is probably still undergoing the emotional processing part.
This does not necessarily mean that all hope is dashed against the rocks. What it does mean is that you have to try to be more patient. Give it another shot in a week or so.
The saying is that patience is a virtue. Well, in this case, it most certainly is!!