The Real Reasons Why Your Ex-Boyfriend is Such a Jerk

“Why is he being such a major a-hole? He used to be so sweet and nice.”

It’s a common phenomenon for every ex-girlfriend to have this type of problem with their ex. And it never fails to confuse women why guys act this way after a breakup. And that’s probably why you’re reading this article—because your ex-boyfriend’s jerk behavior is a big mystery to you.

I want this to be a quick read for you. So, what I want you to do now is to answer this fairly simple question: “Were you the one who broke up with your ex-boyfriend?”

Got the answer? Good. I’ll try to explain why your ex is being a jerk based on two angles: “you left him” angle and “he left you” angle.

 Angle #1: You Were the One Who Left Him



If this is the case, you can’t really expect him to jump for joy, right? You have to understand that guys are all about their (sometimes stupid) pride. If you do anything to bruise their ego, like letting him go, he’ll surely feel pain and anger.

But don’t expect him to tell you outright how he feels. No way, José! Emotions are only for the weaklings. Since he can’t express his feelings of hurt—because of his damn pride—he’ll resort to being a jerk. In short, this behavior of his is actually a silent message that tells you that he’s still not over you.

What “jerkiness” can you expect from him shortly after your breakup?

Granting that you still communicate with him, rejected guys normally like to pick a fight. They turn every conversation into a heated argument by twisting your words, call you hurtful names, and bring up unjust accusations.

Have you experienced the same situation with your ex? Sad, but he clearly chose the “victim” path. He can’t muster enough maturity to handle the break up like a mature adult. Instead, he chooses to cause fights to regain control of the situation.

You see, when you walked away from the relationship, it meant that he lost control of it. He feels like a total failure, a feeling that most men can’t stand.

 “That’s not all. I really hate it when he doesn’t respond to my texts and calls!”

I know, right? It’s really irritating when someone ignores you. It can drive you nuts. But let’s be clear here. I wouldn’t necessarily consider him a jerk in this instance.

Come on, if someone hurts you by letting you go, would you still want to talk to that person? That’s probably the last thing you’ll ever want to do. The same thing is true with your ex-boyfriend.

There’s an exception to this scenario though. If after the break up you two agreed to keep the communication line open, and then he didn’t reply to your texts or return your calls, it’s a clear sign that he’s being a jerk AND a phony.

 Angle #2: He Was the One Who Left You

Now, let’s reverse the situation. So, he left you. That should make him super happy, right? After all, he gained his freedom back.

Well, not always. At first, for him, it might have been a great idea to let you go for some reason. He will probably party like mad with his best buds and hit on many girls.

Most likely, he would go on real dates with these girls. Of course, to see if she’s a potential girlfriend, he would do some “quality checking” by comparing her to his former love interest (that’s you).

If the world’s on his side, she will beat the standards you set. If not, it’s back to the old drawing board for him, so he goes on another date until he finds the one that will satisfy his requirements.

Is he being a jerk in this instance? Nope. Technically, you can’t label him that because you two are not together anymore.

Let’s say, however, that you two still see each other occasionally. Then in one of your meetings, you feel that he’s intentionally flirting or eyeing other girls just to spite you. I would be the one to tell you that he’s being a jerk.

Anyway, let’s go back to his dating spree. His doing that because he’s (1) depressed and (2) really hurt. In order not to be lonely anymore, he will try to fill up that void, which he thinks might happen if he finds your replacement even for the wrong reasons.

Don’t worry. If he keeps getting disappointed—because the girls he dates are not girlfriend material—your ex-boyfriend will eventually come to his senses and will want to come back to you. Just give him space.

 The True Mark of a Real Jerk Ex-Boyfriend

Getting inside your Man’s head

Lying, calling you names, picking fights, dating around… those don’t compare to how a real jerk ex-boyfriend behaves. As horrifying as it might sound, there are really guys who take pleasure in seeing their exes suffer. They don’t feel any remorse and will not even apologize for their mistakes.

Hopefully, this is not the case with your ex-boyfriend. Actually, if your ex is like this, he has already surpassed the stage of being a jerk or a-hole. He has already reached the “douche bag” stage. If that’s the case, I would strongly suggest that you move on. He’s not worth your time, effort and tears.

Well, that’s it for today. I hope it’s now clear to you why your ex is acting like a real jerk. Got other theories to share?

 Think he’s a jerk? Wondering how you should deal with an ex-boyfriend like this? Get to know the answers plus how to melt his heart by using this link.

{ 8 comments… add one }
  • mystery April 22, 2014, 9:30 am

    My ex has been calling me a hoe,paper. And that’s racist because I’m white. What should I do to get him to **** off?????

  • Samantha June 16, 2014, 2:21 am

    My ex and I dated a month.the first time. Then 7 months later , we got back togrther. We were great! We were together a little over a year, when he said he needed to be alone. And it stayed that way for two weeks. He came back, and tokd me during the two weeks that he dated another girl, but was miserable and wanted me. He tokd me he just cant get away from me because something about me brings him back. Two and a half weeks later, he broke up with me again, saying he cant stay happy, we are still friends and maybe someday be more. The girl he dated was related to his best friend. So im scared that he went back to her. Which he tried once. What if he did? Can he come back to me? I love him so much! Thanks

  • Lindsey September 10, 2014, 5:46 am

    My ex and I were dating for two in a half years, and he recently left me three weeks ago because he was confused and needed to find himself. I respected his decision, and now we are in NC.. he continuously speaks bad about me on facebook statuses and tries to purposely make me jealous I feel.. he has been drinking and attending many frat parties with his guy friends. He acts like I left him, why is he talking negative about me?

  • Mariah December 3, 2014, 2:38 am

    I had a mutual breakup with my ex, and he’s spreading rumors.

    First of all, he is my best friend’s younger brother and he has been like a brother to me for a long time. He asked me to be his girlfriend and after some thinking I said “yes”. He told his sister (my best friend) that he was in love with me and loved me shortly after he met me. He said he loved everything about me: Personality, looks. He said I was the most beautiful girl.

    After a while it just wasn’t working for me…I was planning to break up with him a while before it happened.

    The same day I was about to break the news, he says, “Hey, I was thinking… and I prefer we just be friends.”

    I literally got over excited and said “Oh, really?! I was just about to say the same thing! I liked it better when we were friends, and I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while.”

    Later on that day I heard he was spreading rumors, saying that I took the breakup bad, and he was bragging about breaking up with me.

    I decided to talk to him about it and he’s like “WHATEVER, I’M ALREADY DONE WITH THIS SUBJECT” and stuff like that. Seriously? Not to mention, he also told his sister he never meant any of the things he said good about me.

    Later I decided to text him, just to set things straight. He got really mad at me, he said these things: “I don’t know why I asked you out, I like fun girls. I’ve always wanted to break up with you because I like cute girls. I’m working on asking out this fun, cute girl this week!”

    That’s not all, and if you want to know what I said or see the full text conversation, let me know. I’m gladly show you.

    But can anyone tell me why he did this? It hurt. I wanted to go back as friends, not enemies. That’s why I didn’t say yes to being his GF right away..

    Any ideas? :/


  • Angelica Sauceda January 7, 2015, 10:17 am

    My ex and I dated for most of my senior year and before he got the chance to break up with me in the summer I did it for him because he’s already called it off plenty times before.. but always came running back. So we haven’t spoken for 5 months and I sent him a message to see what’s up and he texted me right away and we hung out the next day. It was weird because he was really affectionate but once I asked him if he missed me he said “not at all until now”. Then started telling me that he fell in love with another girl but she rejected him. So now he texts every now and then but he’s a douche about it saying things like how he likes girl with opposite features of me.

  • Marie Sweetpea February 28, 2015, 12:12 am

    I broke up with my ex a week ago. I tried contacting him but he ingnore my message. Now he acting, a jerk all of the sudden. So, I said whatever Don’t nobody got Time like that anyway. And I’ve been doing so fine without him. I would like to become Associates with him but Oh well’…..I think its his real childish N Petty!

  • Bailee March 28, 2017, 1:38 pm

    My ex is just a jerk. He left ME. IDK what his problem is he tries to date ALL OF MY FRIENDS and one of them even said YES so she broke girl code and I’m ticked. Me said he left me cause he liked my friend. Ugh he is such a jerk.

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