Long Distance Relationship Advice: 4 Steps to Getting Your Ex-Boyfriend Back for Good

{ 35 comments… add one }
  • Mary April 28, 2014, 12:34 pm


    Will these tips work for long distance relationship break up after more than a year?
    Because my ex is not even accepting my request in social networks and blocked my mail IDs and phone number too after a tremendous break up.

    Please suggest some ideas for my situation..

    Thanks in advance.

    • stacy gwen June 26, 2014, 2:11 am

      hey mary,
      i had the same problem too. i cheated on him but i still love him.he ignores me, he broke up with me a few days ago. now i want him back, so lets set a goal for not texting for 30 days. it might be useful. lets hope our ex will miss us too and wanted to cheat with us. i recommended to ask him to be friends if he reply backs to you.

      • Mary August 31, 2014, 3:48 pm

        Hi, i already did contact him for more than 6 months in long distance relationship. I heard from his friends his parents r seeking bride. See, in this situation what can i do? Anyone plz give some solution. Plz dont say like ” just move on and see some other guy”. ok. Tell some ideas for getting him back again..

    • sarah November 30, 2014, 4:48 am

      No it doesn’t work.
      I tried all this stupid stuff from the websites. and we didnt even break up due to cheating or on a bad terms. it was mutual. we just said ldr is requiring us to sacrifice too much and we live on two different continents. i put 2 months of ldr and stopped all lines of communication.tested his responsiveness which was good as a friend. but i just humiliated myself when i added just alittle bit of “jealousy”… i humiliated myself for sure… and looked stupid as he didnt even respond to my jealousy message at all as it was written on the net. Once someone decides to move on from you, these stupid things dont help. dont dwell on the hope of getting back together. especially in an ldr if noone is willing to sacrifice their career for love. my humble suggestion for you… just move on and let him remember you as the strong, beautiful and caring and INDEPENDENT woman who moved on rather than a needy person who cannot move on and using idiot things to get back…

  • amon May 3, 2014, 4:59 pm

    well , hi i am a teenager and i lived in italy for 2 yrs i was dating this amazing guy and then i had to move country so we said goodbye to each other now after 1 yr we started texting because we had lost contact , and he is asking me ifg i am single or who i like and sending me love hearts but he says he has a gf that he dated for 7 months what do i do ?

  • Bobbi June 2, 2014, 7:41 am

    I had a long distance boyfriend for almost 3 years. Recently, we have had problems that unfortunately led us to breaking up. He has had some mental/emotional issues lately and he dropped me for a week to only come back and say that he had to so he could do some “soul searching” and he came to the conclusion that we just can’t be together. He also said things like “I’ll always love you,” or “you’ll always be my number one,” or “maybe one day we can try things again. But just not now”. I honestly feel that him and I have something very special and irreplaceable, but he has put me through so much pain. I want to hold on for the sake of what I feel we have, but I don’t want to end up getting hurt again. I’m so confused on what to do. Help?

  • Nicole June 2, 2014, 6:16 pm

    Hi ,
    Thanks for your articles. I have gone through a 55 days of NC. I was expecting him to contact me eventually. But he did not. So eventually, I had to contact him for an emergency asking him to do me a favor but did not ask how he is doing or feeling because I thought I shouldn’t make him feel like he has to answer except doing the answer. He answered and asked me how I am doing. I answered back shortly saying I am fine and hoping he is fine too. Later, I sent him an email about a suggestion for his job and told him that I am ready to be friends. He answered like 20 hours later (let’s say a day) kindly said thanks but he doesn’t need the advice, thou if he needs he will contact me. Then he gave lots of details about how great and busy his life is and that is why he doesn’t need what i told him cuz he doesn’t have time. To sum up, I want him back. I will contact him again at the end of the week but this time rather about something funny we both experienced when we were together. But I am still thinking if I should let him go since as opposed to the things written everywhere every website, he did not bombard me with messages or he did not even try to contact me if i am doing fine and etc. I just want him to remember how good we were, how much fun we had and etc..

    More info on relationship:
    -2 years of relationship half of them ldr in different continents.
    -kind of mutual breakup as he said he doesnt see me in his future and i felt he doesnt put me as a priority. he sid he wants to focus on his career as i should do the same instead of compromising for common good and not being able to live our dreams. we didnt say a bad word or anything.
    -after breaking up, a week later, i got a love letter from him and i told him maybe we should give a second chance but he said no because neither his feelings nor the distance says we can work things out. (that might sound like the only time i almost begged but not really). And in the meantime I talked with his best friend about the situation but did not put him in the middle. I just gave up doing that.
    -since then i implemented 55-58 days of NC. but i contacted his mother and sister for birthday wishes.
    -it was my longest and most serious relationship. Real first love and also first sexual contact.
    -I am currently 23 and he is 27.

    Please give me some advices. Thanks

    • Maria Tom June 3, 2014, 7:01 am

      Do you think, he has a new gf?

      • Nicole June 6, 2014, 12:12 am

        Given his past relationships, he generally has at least a year in between and flirted just once. When we broke up, in his conversation, he said he doesn’t have another girl and the only reason is the distance and he wants to focus on his career and his business dream. And he said, if he knows himself so far, it will take another year to be ready for another girl and he is sure he won’t have time for getting to know another person. But it scares the hell out of me that he has another girl. i have couple girls he might be attracted to through the social circle or his friends’ initiatives but I am not sure. I feel 51% chance he doesn’t have anybody in his life.

  • Tina June 5, 2014, 3:57 am

    I was in a long distance relationship with my ex for over six months. We met, he had to leave (cue LDR after a brief break up because of a uncertain future since we were both students at the time), he came back for me, then I moved to his home state to see if I could imagine living there. After nearly a year of living together and a few fights, I decided to go home to think things over, and after a week away, he decided that we should break up because he isn’t 100% sure about our future anymore. He’s said that one day, he wants to be with me forever and things couldn’t be better, and the next day, he’s overthinking everything. Another thing is that I’m not finished school yet, but I am open to moving back after I finish an extra year, which would make transferring credits so much easier (I’m interested in doing this anyways since I fell in love with the city). I still love him and want him, but he says that he doesn’t want to stand in my way and that he thinks there’s something wrong since he doesn’t want to put in the same amount of effort as me. What can I do?

  • Pulkit June 5, 2014, 4:12 am

    Plzz help me yr..i can’t live without hearing her voice..actually I went yo met her..we saw movie nd enjoyed a lot but next day she continuously rejected my calls nd blocked me..i messaged her messages upto 30-40 times but she didn’t respond..she said I will be fb frnd only..plzz help me

  • Kenzie June 13, 2014, 6:06 am

    Hi, my problem is that the long distance relationship lasts only in the summer, he broke up with me on long distance on the phone and we will prob see each other again in august. What should I do for that?

    He is very close to his family and I really messed up with them. They don’t like me and when they told him that, he broke up with me. He also broke up with me because I became too desperate and texted a guy friend and asked him to talk to my ex. Worst decision. He said he didn’t like it that I had to talk to someone about our relationship.

    • Maria Tom June 13, 2014, 6:00 pm

      I believe he’s right. Most men don’t like to interfered by someone else even though it’s a recommendation. Talk to him and understand what are the exact reasons for his change.

  • Rohit June 18, 2014, 4:35 am

    i had a girlfriend for 1 month…we chatted a lot..she always told me that “you are wanderful man” “you the man i always love you and forever”.
    but suddenly one day she said that “she does not love me anymore” she loves someone else. my life become full of pain. One day i gave her proof that her boyfriend is cheating on her and i show her proof in then she asked him and he made her believe that i hacked his profile and edited all messages what i showed her…then she deactivated her account..Made a new one and add him.. but i knew it later. Before it i made her lots of calls and then said “I hate you”. When i got her account again i messaged her then she blocked me..i did it from my friends account she talked but blocked all of them. next day she unblock me and said that if you want we can be friends. I have no option left except being with her in anyway. So i accepted her offer…But she is doingvideo chat with him and ignoring me..
    I want to get her back at any cost.Can you help me?? 🙁

  • gwen June 25, 2014, 4:40 am

    hi, this might be hard to understand but i met this guy in SKOUT and we were together for 3 weeks. i love him so much and he loves me back. however this week he found out that i was selling my body to another guy. i know, i was pathetic and stupid to do that. but i can’t control myself. and now my ex boyfriend wont talk to me and told me i was a b****. he also said we can’t be friends and ican’t talk to him.
    please help me

  • roma June 30, 2014, 8:56 am

    hi its been 15days of nc but till now he has not contacted me even once. Shall i just assume that he is not interested or shall i initiate contact after a month. And also can the first form of contact be a birth day wish since his birth day is coming up.

    • Maria Tom June 30, 2014, 10:58 am

      had any disputes recently?

    • roma July 1, 2014, 9:41 am

      i did like to know the same thing, can the first form of contact be a birth day wish ?

  • roma July 1, 2014, 9:40 am

    I was in a relationship for the last 2 years and few months, the last year plus was LDR he shifted back to his home town. Things where very good between us in fact he was the one who suggested marriage and made me meet his parents and extended family. In the last month he hardly spoke to me when i asked him the reason he said he was busy with stuff and he doesn’t feel that strongly anymore.I told him its not fair on me and he can’t expect me to wait like this. We mutually decided to call things off 2 days back. He kept insisting that we be friends cause we where always friends before anything else. I told him maybe in the future but not right now right now he needs to give me space, i told him that both off us where always soo connected that we need sometime alone. He was still very keen but fianly agreed.He told me he doesn’t want me to have bad feelings for him as i was a very important person in his life and he still cared just not in the romantic way.He said that he just doesn’t feel like putting any effort and is not interested in any relationship and would rather go for an arrange marriage in the future(a concept he didn’t agree with before).His business is not doing as-well and he is having money crunches also there certain health issues that are bringing him down.I feel all these things are stressing him out alot.Also our line of work is same and in the last one year our contacts are overlapping and i ll need his help with certain things.How do i go about this with a one month of NC since i already know i have to call him regarding a certain dealer, but i also feel that NC is required for myself and also for him since he is so use to me being there for him. Also is there hope for us to get back together?? he might not feel the same way but i still do.I ll be glad if you could help me out

  • Scarlett July 15, 2014, 10:46 am

    I desperately need your advice. 🙁 I’m hoping that you could help me. My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for eight months. Although things were great between us (we both fell in love with each other hard and fast), my Mom was strongly against the relationship. We endured all the pain because I knew that he is The One and he was also sure about me.
    However, two months ago he decided to move away because he wanted to work hard for our future. We couldn’t do much here while my Mom is closely monitoring my every action. After he moved away, I did everything I can to maintain communication. I called him every night, sent him money to get him started. But it wasn’t easy. I constantly missed his presence.

    Things then started to go downhill when we exchanged Facebook accounts one night. He discovered that I have been keeping in touch with guy friends and been talking about stuff that was too inappropriate (I realized too late). He’s been digging my every message thread to every friend since then. I haven’t shared everything about me to him, when he was being completely honest with me. 🙁 I even tried to make my mistakes appear as if they were nothing, which made him all the more angry.

    Is it really possible to win him back when I’m the one at fault? I really don’t want to lose him. He’s the only guy I’ve ever loved truly. I don’t think I could still find anyone like him. I pleaded, begged for him to stay but he told me that I could never gain his trust (and the love) back. 🙁 It really broke my heart. I still want him but he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I’m a crying mess right now. I want to make it up to him, but he hates me now. It’s even harder for me because he’s so far away and we have only discussed this over the phone. 🙁
    Please help me?

  • Cheyenne August 4, 2014, 2:44 am

    Hey. I am recently TRYING to get over a breakup. Our recent anniversary was on July 31st, 2014 which claimed 1 year and 2 months for us. I got a message the day after saying he is losing interest because it was getting boring doing the same routine daily; nothing new. We are still friends, though. We both love in Florida. He is in West Palm and I am in Hallandale; a mere 45 minutes away. We really still like each other as we said over the phone during our break up. We both shared tears and our feelings of how we’ll always be special to each other and all that. I am still madly in love with him. And he has liked me since he laid eyes on me in elementary school. It can be over just because it was boring…what can I do to bring.it back to life? Bring us back together?

  • Mary August 25, 2014, 11:54 am

    Could you help me with this please!!
    I have been in a relationshp with my ex boyfriend for 4months until he broke with me 4days ago..everythng was good until he suddenly moved to another town without me noticing,i have been tryng to text me but never replies i finnally asked his friend and told me that he moved to another town,i then contacted him asking why he left..he told me he could do this anymore..he also said we are both far any he wasnt gonna come to my town again..he suddenly blocked all my contacts and everythng even doesnt reply my friend too..i love him soo very much & i would do anything just to be with him again..when i ask him if he loved me..he said he was busy and suddenly blocked me..we never had fights about anything or anyone..we were so much inlove
    i want him back do i really have a chance please help

  • ak August 26, 2014, 11:19 pm

    Hi I need your help, I have this man for a year now and for LDR its very hard to keep, I always doubted on him and always thinking negative things like his enjoying with someone or texting someone, I always ask him his whereabouts, and then every time we fight I always say first the “BREAK UP” word and he always beg me to stay …til last week, Now he is very cold and keep saying his feelings are so numb and that he is tired…. He telling me that it all depends on me if I want to stay or not… But he said he don’t feel anything anymore and that he is confuse if he still love me. Or not… I asked him to forgive me, he said he is not mad but he is tired and no feelings already… He still text or answer my text BT not like before, it would take 3-4 hrs before he reply and call,not anymore…. Pls help what should I do, I want him back like the real him.

  • yuni September 10, 2014, 4:05 am

    hi , i have a bf on skype but now he finish me after he know i have bf when i have him, he delete me on skype i add him then he accept.
    now, what should i do to get him back?
    i try to be better for him
    but its difficult for him to believe me again, most of times he think that i lie to him.

  • richee moore September 27, 2014, 2:58 am

    I was in a ldr wit a guy but bcz my ex boyfriend wanted me back n wanted to marry me who just lived two blocks away n used all the dirty ways to get me back, I choose him over my serious love wid the ldr guy just bcz the one closer to me does nt hamper the ldr guy’s family or him just to get me,I actually sacrificed my love over the fear dat ldr guy n his family shud b safe.it’s been an year now I did nt speak to the ldr guy n was goin to get married to the closer guy who I did nt love n who made me cry n hurt me each day of the last year which den after an year of torture I decided dat dis closer guy is nor worth it n he wud make me cry whole lyf n I can’t live for my entire lyf not being wid the guy I actually love,so I broke my marriage n spoke to the ldr guy,told him the whole story how n wat happened den n y I left u. he listened n said I respect d decision u tuk was to save me n my family but I can’t forget dat u broke my trust n left me giving lame excuses dat tym wen I wanted to desperately marry u leaving all my responsibilies n priorities aside. but I can understand dat u hav been through much alone.
    now he talks to me using words like m just a frnd but wen m in a problem is der fr me n lately he has started ignoring my calls n msgs. n says I’ll cal u but does nt wich evn I dnt respond to. he is coming back here in days n v planned to meet face to face.
    one is dat I want to hav him back but wid all the love n respect n second I m getting confused wid his behavior dat he still loves me wich he does bcz he said he loves me but I dnt knw dat he wants me back or not or loves me dat much or not.he is nt makin clear ny thing to me bcz my family is again saying dat I shud decide,move on n get married but I want him back bcz I love him a lot,
    plz help me wat shud I do. exactly to get him n his love back n wat exactly is his state of mind so dat I can act accordingly.

  • Vernely September 28, 2014, 8:14 pm

    Hey ,
    I have been daiting my incredible boyfriend for 1 year and 5 months. He recently movied to North Carolina for college and I am in new york. in the past we have daited for a few months , he was inlove with me but I wasn’t feeling him a couple days after valentines day I broke up with him and lost my virginity to a guy who I though really liked me turns out I got played. A couple of months later I realized I mad a horrible mistake leaving a good man that actually cared for me and respected me, so in May/April I called out my his best friend and apoligized and I wanted him to let my boyfriend know I am deeply sorry. I also came I contact with my boyfriend. And sincerly apoligize. In april 9 2013 Charles and went back out everything was so lovely, a month after May 1st on my boyfriends birthday a guy who had a crush on me, kissed me i guess it was how the way I was looking at him but that’s my natural look. I slapped the kid for it and never talked to him again. I could tell Charles this I knew it would break us up so I kept it hidden from him. A couple of months later Charles and I became sexually active , he lost his virginity to me and I tried to play it off that I lost it to him but he was suspicious. A month later I finally told him the truth the reason why I left him in the first relationship. And he forgave me , that was when our love grew stronger. But there was something else in my chest I couldnt Tell him the incident that happens on his birthday. It would be to much to swallow. And plus he said if I ever cheat on him in this relationship he will break up with me . so I decided when the time is right I’ll tell him, I didn’t want us to break up. After June our relationship grew and I fell inlove with Charles and he fell inlove with me , of course we would have a arguments some daily but nothing serious , I would go to his house almost everyday and we will talk, we go on dates , the relationship was so perfect. Fast forwarding to June 2014 he began to have problems peeing and So he went to the doctor with his mother and the doctor told him that something wrong with his body or he has gonorrhea but he will be able to confirm what it is in 3 days , immediately his mother began to say I gave it to him because he lost his virginity to me and I had sex with that one guy that I lost my virginity too . So Charles decided to go on social media and delete all the photos of us and break up with me before I knew the situation . So when I finally got a hold of him we had a serious talk and I told him that when I lost my virginty to the dude I had a check up for every disease and they said I was fine so how can that be ? , and he was like ” no matter what I won’t let you go we could go threw this together even if you do have it ” 3 days later the doctor called him and told him he doesn’t have it. So it was all a misconception. So fast forwarding to August he left to college in north carolina and debates for their debate team. We’ve been having a little fighting because I feel as if he doesn’t fit me in his schedule and he told me because of his debate team and school he really acuppied and I was like okay I understand. A couple of days later he decided to confess to me that he was bisexual ( he never kissed a guy nor had sex with one it’s more like he just have thoughts in his head , he has a lot of adults in his life and friends who are bisexual and I think he just wants to fit in , he said if a guy were to kiss him he wouldnt freak out ) and I was in shock so I decided to come clean and tell him that a dude kissed me on his birthday of last year and I slaped him for it . So immediately he called off the relationship I was wreck I kept on begging him not to do this I confessed my love for him I did everything you could have done to save a relationship I even called his mom , and she told me “Charles love you deeply he may take it out on you because he is stress that he is away from his family, and you know what I told him he shouldn’t be in a relationship in college ” so I decided to hang up on her after telling me that , so for last couple of weeks I’ve been trying to work my way back to be his girlfriend. So a week after the break up i ignored him for 2 days and turned out that he got drunk and slept with another girl because I was ignoring him and he was depressed. I forgave him and he still wanted to be friends. So I told can we take baby steps he says okay and everything is all good we say we love each other and than he comes with his bullshit that ” he can’t force himself to fix something that can’t be fix ” he just want to be friends , ( MIND YOU ALL OF THIS TIME HE STILL HAVE THE PHOTOS OF US IN A RELATIONSHIP ON FACEBOOK AND I DONT). So as the days flow we started to reconnect he will tell me how his day went I would listen thab I would share my story and we talk about his life in college and as we get ready to hang up we would say we love you to each other, so one day we’re talking on the phone and I mentioned to him that his close friend hit me up on Facebook and he got extremely concerned he was like why did he hit you up, what did he say and I told him he probably would want to check up on me and he was like ” I love my friend but I would him, fuck out of here your my girl” and I was suprised in my mind I was like ( Yay) and shortly after he told me that he would talk to anyone else but me, he wasn’t already but now this is official , and I told him wasn’t talking to anyone else , 2 days later I shared a video on Facebook about a guy explaining ” what it really means when a man say he not ready for a relationship” just secounds after he was like you want to throw subs at me and I responded what are you even talking about I shared it because what he said was true that doesn’t necessarily means it relates to me, and I asked him are you playing me?, are you screwing other chicks? And he was like he not going to answer that question and I told him than obviously that video is not about you, he left me on seen, hours later I hit him up and I’m Sayed what are you doing and he responded that he was doing home work and I told him you could have told me that ( he always takes hours to respond back and I’m always hitting him up first, I feel like I’m kissing his ass) and that’s when he told me that he doesn’t have to tell me anything that’s what being friends mean so he won’t have to deal with this shiit. And I responded okay charles you won’t have to worry about me bothering you anymore and he left me on seen. Next day I texted him good morning and he replied we need to talk and I’m like sure , and he said that he wants to talk to other people , and I just flipped out on him because he is always playing with my emotions. And a hour later I apoligized for flipping out on him. But basically his whole thing is that he is verry confused and he doesn’t know what he want and I feel like he thinks he could continue hurting me and changing his mind when ever he please because he know I will be there to take him back . So my thing is should I do a 30 day no contact rule ? It’s now october and this silent treatment will finish oct 28 and October 29 is my birthday and he comes back to New York in November for the thanks giving break . I don’t know what to do I don’t want to loose him he says he loves me and I truly believe he does for crying out loud he brought me this iphone 5, .., mark what should I do, I prey everyday , please help me

  • mae January 25, 2015, 11:58 pm

    Hi everyone!
    Reading this article and other comment is comforting.
    But i would like to ask for an advice.you see im in a lesbian relationship.she is my first experience we have been together for 8yrs. An oppurtunity knock on her to work abroad. Thinking for our future i supported her.when she went there by feb.while she was working i was also preparing for my papers to come visit her.luckily i got tourist visa and we met for a month in aug.when i came back we still continue communication.i will come back again this april and i will find a way to make it permanent to stay with her.tthat was our plan.but suddenly by january she broke up with me.she said she met someone and i shouldn’t come there anymore.she is angry with me blaming me if i didnt made her leave then we wouldnt break up with me.i was really hurt.i cant believe she could do this.but still i want her back.and now i don’t know if i will meet her in april if it will do good or not.because she told me even if i meet her she won’t get back with me.so please help me..i dont know what to do..i have rearrange my life for her and suddenly like this…thank you

  • sara March 15, 2015, 5:39 pm

    I have been in long distant relationship for 2 years until he broke up with me four month ago well we have been like fighting over and over every time he rejects me or doesn’t wanna be back to me it hurts me so bad cuz we were engaged and I really love him I just feel he is so cold now not caring until I decided 3 days ago after a huge fight he blocked me then unblocked me the same day but since then I stopped texting him I hope he can come back but he is just being so slow I guess idk

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