Is your relationship continually festered with the same old issues? Getting tired of dealing with them?
There’s no denying that being in a relationship offers many great benefits. But we all know that it also comes with its own set of struggles.
The positive side is that the relationship bond becomes stronger once you and your man get passed these struggles. If you don’t effectively solve them, however, you’ll have to face them over and over ‘til they put a strain on your relationship.
Let’s see how ugly unresolved issues could get if not dealt with properly, shall we?
Do You Keep Fighting Over This, Too?
What’s one of the most common problems that couples face? Yup, it’s money. And that’s what Maria and Tim continually fights over.
You see, Maria tends to be a shopaholic. Her spending habits have just surpassed the limit (again) that Tim set for her.
They keep fighting over this matter—complete with yelling of different insults and throwing of stuff—but they never really cared to stop and break down the issue with the intent of discovering the root cause.
No one really said, “Okay, let’s stop. We’ve been arguing about this ever since. Why is that?”
The fighting got so intense and frequent that it finally sucked the romance out of the relationship.
Most of the time, fighting over money is a symptom of a deeper issue, usually not really related to money. It could be because of differences in beliefs, competing for power, or just really stressed out about money in general.
Identify the Needs of Your Partner
You have to understand that your man’s bound to think differently than you. Just like you, he also has his own set of beliefs.
When he has a different opinion of certain things, don’t barrage him with criticisms or force him to see it your way. Try to listen and understand his point of view. You might not always agree with him, but you have to respect that.
Sometimes, recurring issues also try to tell you and your man that you have some needs that are not addressed properly. That’s why one of you (or both) isn’t happy.
A good quality relationship also depends on meeting the needs of each other. But it’s your responsibility to identify what your needs really are.
It’s quite unfair to accuse your man that he’s not fulfilling your needs when you’re not even aware of what those are. Agree?
Once you know what these deep-seated needs are, make sure to communicate it to your partner. In the case of your man, you really have to go down to his communication level (i.e. tell him directly what it is), so he can understand and respond better.
Tip: Always be aware of recurring issues in your relationship. Ask yourself: “Why do we always fight over this [insert issue]?”
Make sure to sit down with your partner about this and try to dig down to bring the core issue into the open. This is better than letting its ugly head keep popping over and over.