The first relationship was a flop, so how can you make the second one work for good this time? and asking how start over again with my ex boyfriend?
There are plenty of issues to deal with when an ex-couple decides to give their demised relationship another try. The thing you need to keep in mind is that you’re NOT supposed to pick up right where you two left off. You have to create a new and better relationship.
How To Start Over Again With My Ex Boyfriend?
Without further ado, here are 6 things you can do to make your new relationship last.
1. Learn how to properly handle your man’s emotional baggage.
Bad emotional memories from your past relationship are bound to influence your new relationship. Expect that your man will still be a little guarded because he might be scared that history will repeat itself.
It’s not really difficult to tell if your man has emotional baggage. He would probably:
- Feel sorry for himself
- Refuse to admit his faults
- Have a hard time trusting **Read our previous article “3 Ways to Convince Your Ex-Boyfriend to Trust You Again”**
- Tends to be selfish in the relationship
This is expected, especially if you had a bad break up. It’s your choice to let his baggage end the relationship or not. If you choose to stay, there are several things you can do to handle his emotional memories.
- You must be willing to attentively listen, be supportive, and be more understanding.
- Define clear boundaries as to how much, for how long and what you’re willing to allow.
If his emotional baggage gets out of hand, it’s bound to make your new relationship toxic.
2. Avoid committing the same mistakes.
This is it. You’ve managed to win him back, so don’t go wasting this chance by repeating your past errors. Learn from these mistakes and use them to make your new relationship happier and better than before.
Some common faulty habits couples fall into when they get back together are:
- Getting into frequent arguments. Nothing can be accomplished by these anyway. Instead, it will only make the relationship too toxic for him to stay in
- Becoming over emotional. For instance, you (or your man) might make simple matters blow out of proportion
- Trying to control every aspect of his life
- Easily gets paranoid
- Won’t let each other forget about what the other did wrong in their previous relationship
3. Stop bringing up his past mistakes.
Have you ever heard the song “The Past”? I really think it sums up my point perfectly. If you’re not familiar with the lyrics, here are some of the lines I like:
“Out of all the good we had, you only keep track of the bad… Didn’t anyone tell you yet to forgive is to forget. How can you be mad if you don’t remember?”
The song makes sense, right? If you really want to put the past behind, to let your love flourish again, you must learn to forgive yourself and your man’s shortcomings and past mistakes. Instead, focus on the happy times and the future of your new relationship.
4. Leave some love for yourself.
Just because you did him wrong in the past doesn’t mean you need to make up for it this time by being at his beck and call. Don’t make him the center of your universe.
Believe it or not, your man would like it more if you also have a personal life. Doing everything he wants will only make him lose interest in you and hurt you deeply if ever he decides to end the relationship.
5. Learn the art of proper communication (both of you).
One of the reasons why romantic relationships don’t work is because of ineffective communication skills. Most fights don’t happen because of differences. It’s because each side is not willing to listen to what the other has to say.
I’m not just referring to simple listening here. Listening here means that you have to really pay attention and try to understand the view point of your boyfriend to let him feel that you respect him. Take note that you don’t necessarily have to accept his ideas as your own.
6. Pay attention to your looks and hygiene.
Looks is not everything, but it doesn’t mean that your man doesn’t care if you let yourself go. Single or committed, you still need to pay attention to how you look overall and your personal hygiene, like how you smell.
Guys really love it when their girlfriend dresses up for them. You don’t have to be a fashionista. And I’m not also saying you dress up every single day. That will only make him bored in the long run. Remember, you have to build intrigue to keep his interest in you.
These are just some of the things you can do to make your relationship work this time around. But in the end, your efforts are going to be useless if he’s not going to be a team player. There are really instances wherein a guy wants to get back together, but then grows distant, doubtful and resentful after.
If he’s not doing his share to grow your relationship, perhaps it’s time for you to think long and hard if this new relationship is really worth it or if it’s time to completely let it go.