Hearing your ex-boyfriend has finally found a new girl is probably every ex-girlfriend’s nightmare. And since you’re reading this article, I’m presuming that your nightmare has begun, and you’re set out to rekindle your relationship. Am I right or wrong?
Okay, I’m not going to lie to you. Reuniting with your ex-boyfriend when he already found his potential girlfriend is the hardest task you’ll ever have to do—seriously. It’s going to take some series of steps, a lot of patience and logical thinking to get this done.
What are my chances of getting him back in my arms again?
Well… depends on what you were doing before you found this article. I’m crossing my fingers that you weren’t…
- Crying your heart out while pleading him to come back
- Leaving him hundreds of IMs/text messages, which may sound something like, “[Add his name], please call me. Or, perhaps we could meet up. I just REALLY need to talk to you as soon as possible. Okay? I miss you.”
- ‘Liking’ or commenting on every post he makes like a scary, stalky-ish ex-girlfriend.
I couldn’t stress enough why you shouldn’t be doing anything that resembles any of those “desperate girl” moves. You’re going to ruin your chances for sure.
And don’t even try starting World War 3 with her new girl. You’ll just strengthen their relationship and reinforce your ex’s decision to leave you.
Fortunately, there’s a way of telling if your ex-boyfriend is not serious with this new chick.
How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back When He Has a New Girlfriend
I don’t mean to open fresh wounds, but I would just like to ask, “When did you two break up?” “When did he start dating your archenemy, I mean, this other girl?”
Why do I ask these questions? Well, it’s essential that you know the amount of time that has lapsed since he dated this girl after your breakup.
Okay, let me explain further. It’s like this. If he started on a dating spree less than or within a month, chances are the girl, or girls, he’s dating is just a “rebound.”
Men are not as heartless as you would like to think. They may look fine on the outside after a breakup, but deep inside they’re also hurting, even if they were the ones who called it quits.
The same thing goes with your ex-boyfriend. He may be looking for ways to numb the pain and make himself feel good by dating around.
Wait. Don’t rejoice yet.
If it’s been six months since he last dated, it’s a telltale sign that he’s ready to let a new love interest come into his life. Or, if he has been dating this girl for 7 months now, this could mean they’re entering the serious stage.
Should you give up then? Well, not yet. It just means that you have to work harder, because they’re not going to break up any time soon (yet).
The Solutions You Have Been Looking For
If you plan to snatch your ex from this new girl, you can’t go in battle without having a foolproof plan, if you don’t want to risk losing him forever. In fact, you don’t have to do crazy stunts to convince him to leave his girlfriend. Let him think that he should do that. Here’s your game plan:
First Thirty Days: No Communication Phase
As what I’ve said earlier, guys don’t dig desperate chicks. They think of them as low class or easy-to-get types.
So, the wisest thing for you to do at this early stage is to DON’T care at all about him. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to raise enough courage to do this.
Don’t contact him through phone, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Viber, and other means of communication. If you happen to bump into each other, act casual and make your conversation brief, as in, the hi-hello type.
Not talking to him will do you good. It will give you time to collect your thoughts, calm yourself, become happier, and give him the impression that you’re moving on, which will help lessen his being suspicious when you contact him again.
After Thirty Days: Communication Phase
Okay, a month has passed. It’s time to initiate communication. Before I forget, please don’t think that it’s a sin to talk to your ex when he’s already in a relationship, as long as you keep everything friendly and wholesome.
What if you send him a text message, but he doesn’t respond? It’s simple. Try again after sixteen days.
- Be subtle. You don’t want him to feel that you’re trying to persuade him to leave his girlfriend and go back to your arms.
- Don’t talk about bad points in your relationship. Instead, innocently insert the best points of your relationship into your conversation.
First try: Text him an interesting, but innocent message. Perhaps you could say something like:
You: Hey, guess what just happened.
(If you’re lucky, he’ll respond.)
You: Misty (the dog he gave you way back when) just gave birth to very cute puppies.
It could start out like that. If he’s responsive, you could text back and forth, but only briefly. I say, five to seven replies would be a good range. After, totally stop replying.
It’s only when you stop pushing that his curiosity will start growing, so he’ll try to contact you. You see, one of the reasons why he was so carefree all this time after the breakup because he felt that he still has you, as evidenced by you acting as a jealous, obsessed ex-girlfriend.
Well, that’s it. It may sound simple, but this tactic works most of the time. If you’re lucky, this new girl is just a rebound. If you’re unlucky, their relationship may end in marriage. When that happens, accept it and move on.