Just broke up with your boyfriend? Want to know the best way to get over him? Breaking up is probably one of the most painful experiences a person could go through. But you have to let yourself rise above the pain and sorrow to survive and become happy again.
“What if it’s wrong to move on and forget about him? I mean, we might be really meant for each other.”
I know you’re afraid that no one might love you again if you totally let him go. Believe me I understand where you’re coming from. But you shouldn’t believe this idea—ever.
Now, let’s go to the good stuff—the actual ways to get over your ex-boyfriend to start your healing process.
How to get over your ex boyfriend
5 Healthy Moving-On Tactics You Can Use
#1 – Stop Communicating With Him
“What? But, but for how long?”
I know you might object to this, but please remember that this is for your own good. So here it is. You need to do this for 1 year.
Before you object the idea, let me explain. Based on my experience, women are usually the ones who really take very long to move on. Normally, the average time a woman would totally get over her ex happens after a year or so.
BUT there is an exception to this no contact rule—if you two have kids. In this instance, you can contact your ex, but it should only be done to talk about matters concerning your kids. That’s it.
#2 – Get Rid of Your “I’m a Victim” Mentality
The pain of breaking up is bad enough. You don’t need to add to the negativity of the situation by feeling sorry for yourself.
Don’t let yourself play the blame game. Both of you may have contributed something to the break up, but this is not the time for you to whine and point fingers at yourself or at him.
#3 – Do the “Ex-Boyfriend Purification” Ritual
Don’t worry. I’m not talking about voodoo rituals or magic potions here. I just want you to get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex-boyfriend. And that means getting rid of those pictures (including those in your online social media accounts), love letters, emails, texts, gifts, his clothes, etc.
I want you to access your online social media accounts, like Facebook and Twitter, right at this moment. Go ahead and “unfriend” your ex-boyfriend, including your mutual friends.
“What, are you crazy? That’s too extreme.”
Trust me on this. The moment you see pictures of him posted by your mutual friends I’m sure memories (good and bad) will start flooding your system. And that’s going to hamper your healing process.
“What if I just unfollow his posts?”
And then what, when you start missing him or become curious of how he is, you’ll frequently visit his profile? No more excuses. Just do it (please).
#4 – Forget About Making Him Regret the Break Up
”Make him regret dumping you. Hit the gym and get in the best shape of your life.”
“Date around and make sure he knows about it.”
Sounds familiar, right? A lot of people will readily advice you to plot revenge against your ex. I say skip this.
What’s the point? Are you a masochist or something? I mean, making him regret for leaving you may work if you’re trying to get your ex back, but that’s not the point of this article. (Please read the title of this article again.)
The more you obsessed about getting even or making him feel regret, the longer he will stay in your mind. If that’s the case, how will you be able to start your healing process with what you’re doing?
#5 – Don’t Be a People Phobic
A lot of women become a hermit after their boyfriend left them. They can’t even stand it when people try to console them. They just want to be alone. Have you also become a loner?
One factor that increases the success rate of someone who’s trying to get over her ex is having a strong support system. Surround yourself with people who care about you, like your close friends and family members.
I’m sure you can attest to this. When you’re always by yourself, you’ll give yourself plenty of opportunities to think of him. Then you start thinking about your times together, so you’ll begin to miss him. What happens? You’ll break the no communication tactic I’ve mentioned a while ago.
Sum up the energy and will power to go out and have fun. Hang-out with your friends or make new ones. Pursue your passions that you’ve put aside when you’re still in a relationship. Join clubs or organizations. Try new activities that will make you forget about him (forever).
How Can We Still Be Friends After Moving On?
After you finished our no contact agreement, it’s now safe to start communicating again, that is, if you’re truly over him. It would be pretty awkward and complicated at first, but it is still possible to become friends with your ex-boyfriend.
There’s only one thing you need to remember when trying to become friends again with your ex. And that is setting specific boundaries for your newfound friendship. By boundaries I mean…
- No sleeping, smooching, or petting with your ex-boyfriend.
- Limit your conversations.
- If you’re busy, don’t put off what you need to do just to accommodate him.
- Avoid saying that you miss or love him.
Those are just some examples of setting limits to your friendship. I’m sure you get the idea, right?
I hope the tips I gave you will help you forget about your ex. These are only my suggestions. The final decision is still yours to make.