Continuing on from our last article where we finished by discussing men – an insight into how men think when it comes to relationships…
once you finished, read on..
So, we are still asking what caused the breakup in the first place.
He Broke up With You?
There’s no escaping the fact that getting dumped does entirely suck! I do feel for you, but not to worry too much because we’re going to analyze what happened to cause the break-up, and then try to figure out how best to approach things from there.
Again, it’s worth reiterating – do not assume that the reason he – your ex – gave to you for the break-up is actually the legit reason for it. So, with that said, let’s now look at some of the more common reasons for a relationship break-up.
Reasons for a Relationship Break-up
He didn’t feel attracted to you any longer:
Yeah? Ouch! This is actually a fairly common reason for men to break-up with their partners. Perhaps the girl has let themselves go a bit. Fact is, in the first instance, you probably put in that much more effort into your physical appearance.
Where more latterly, you’ve let that side of life slip a bit. Well, no need to worry. It’s far easier to change your physical appearance than it is to change your personality.
He was starting to get bored with the relationship:
Another good reason for the break-up. In some respects, this actually says a bit more about his lack of character (unless of course you are, well… really boring – although ‘boring’ is in the eye of the beholder – of course it is!) than it is about you and what you’ve done or not done. Again, we have another easy fix here.
The emotional and sexual needs of your boyfriend were not being fulfilled by you:
This can happen and yet you have or had no idea that it was happening. After all, men in general are not the best at communicating, and more so when it comes to the breaking of bad news. For most men, the very last thing that they want is to hurt you. In which case, they heal the wound by breaking up with you and do not give you the real reason for it. This though, once more, can easily be addressed.
He doesn’t really know what it is that he wants:
This is where the classic line comes in to play – “it’s not you, it’s me…” This issue can be a bit more difficult to come back from, but nevertheless, it can be done, providing you are smart with respect to how you approach the scenario.
One of the more popular questions that I am asked is this: “How can I get my ex-boyfriend back if I was the one that cheated on him/ if he was the one that cheated on me?” Well, firstly, you need to understand one thing when it comes to cheating. Men and women will cheat for totally different reasons.
Men frequently cheat because they are hot… horny…
On the other hand, women tend to cheat due to the fact that they do not feel appreciated or for a variety of other emotionally-inclined reasons.
And the fact of the matter is, often, an ex will soon realize that, once they are settled with a new partner, they will realize what it is that they miss about YOU.
On the other hand, if you cheated on your ex because you were either emotionally or physically abused, then I would simply recommend that you NEVER go back to them – NEVER!
You Are the One That Broke up With Him?
There’s a very big misconception bandied around and it goes like this: because you did the dumping, it’s therefore a whole lot easier for you to get back with your ex should you wish to do so. And I presume you do wish to do so since you are reading this.
Well, the bad news is that it’s just not true. If you want to get back with your ex, and you were the one to dump him, then you’re in for a whole lot of work ahead of you.
Here are a variety of the more common reasons why it’s you who may have broken up with your ex:
You were of the mind that the grass had to be greener on the other side:
Most of us – almost all of us, but not all of us – some people are very happy in their relationships – think that we could do a lot better in a relationship. That is, until we start getting out there, and over time, we begin to realize that our previous relationship was not so bad after all.
You made the fundamental mistake of believing that your ex cheated on you or betrayed you in some way (when they never actually did):
So, you had a reason for suspicion but it turns out that you were wrong. This is not good, for a couple of reasons:
Firstly, your ex-boyfriend will always have the worry of incurring your wrath when they wish to do something that does not involve you.
Second, your ex has good reason to think (or possibly he does) that you’ve never trusted him. It’s fortunate however that you can work on this, and over time, prove to him that you are no longer that girl – you don’t suspect him whenever he goes out without you by his side.
Your ex-boyfriend was the one who cheated on you:
This, for me, is difficult to give advice on. It turns out that although you were faithful, he was not. Thus, I would recommend that you think very carefully… is the man worth getting back together with? To me, cheating is a certain no-no, and I doubt I could ever, ever forgive it if it did happen. But that’s me. What about you?
You no longer feel attracted to him:
Perhaps they’ve let themselves go a bit. Maybe you got a bit too familiar with them, and the relationship for you became old, and it became boring – no challenge – nothing to challenge for? If that is the case, you need to be very serious in terms of the reasons for wanting to get back together with your ex. And you need to figure that out before you read further…
You had a big fight and after that you broke up:
Well, I’ve done this too, although, fact of the matter is, that the relationship was heading towards a break-up. It was becoming fairly stale. A friend of mine – he used to fight with his girlfriend over seemingly little things. He asked his best friend for some advice. His best friend, who incidentally is his father, said to him that a relationship is a bit like a bank account.
Each time you enjoy your time together with your partner, you are depositing money into that account. However, each time you have a fight, you are essentially taking money out. So, the key is to have more deposits than withdrawals when it comes to relationships. If your previous relationship was far more about withdrawals than it was about deposits, it’s probably a wise time to move on. By the way I encourage you to check our new course “together again forever” where all these aspects are given in step by step mode.
We will continue the same topic” How to Get My Ex Back After He Broke Up With Me” in the next session, but before that I highly appreciate your thoughts on this, which will not only encourage me to write more informative posts but also helpful to thousands who are struggling due relationship break up. So express your thoughts on the comment box below, I read each every comments and emails I receive. So give me your feedback, go to the comment box below and I’m looking for your comments.