This is a continuation of our previous topic “How to Get My Ex Back After He Broke Up With Me”
You can read it by clicking the below link
Lets continue here
In this discussion,we talk more about how to make him miss you and analyze whether you really want him back.
Defining the Goal
Something that should be made clear at this point is that if you are sure about investing the time as well as the effort into getting your ex-boyfriend back, you are going to have to go about adopting something of a fresh mindset.
You were previously dating this guy. Perhaps it was serious, or maybe just casual. Whatever – you now need to accept that at this moment in time your relationship is… dead. You see, very often, women pick up just where they left off, should they get back with their ex.
And the question begs to be asked. Why would you want to do that? Isn’t it true that your ‘old’ relationship failed? And isn’t it true then that the very last thing you would want to do is to pick up where you left off?
So… the main goal here is that you strive to craft a relationship with your ex-boyfriend which is not merely new, but is also BETTER.
My goal here is to help you if you want a lasting relationship with your boyfriend. If you do strongly believe that you are going to be together for good, and you are willing to try pretty much anything to get back together, then we are both on the right path. We are both focused on the exact same goal.
The big takeaway from this section is that your goal – ultimate goal – is to discard your previous relationship and work on creating a fresh one that will be that much stronger than the last.
Do You Have a Legitimate Reason for Getting Back Together?
It’s probably obvious, or at least I hope it is, that I do enjoy helping ladies get back with their ex-boyfriends, providing of course that something will come of the relationship and it’s not all going to be for absolutely nothing other than much more heartache. Nevertheless, there is one thing that up to this point, I have failed to mention. This is, there are of course some women that do not have legitimate reasons to get back with an ex.
That said, here are a few of the reasons that are quite honestly not acceptable:
- Telling yourself (and possibly your friends and family, and maybe even him too) that you will die without him
- Saying that he is your ‘whole’ life and nothing else matters
- Saying that you will never ever find anyone who is better than him
- Telling yourself that you will never be happy to be alone
- And saying over and over that it will be different next time
This line of reasoning – or these lines of reasoning – are just not good enough for you to get back together with your ex. Honestly, if you are telling yourself and/ or others any of the above, then you are focusing on the wrong reasons.
Here are a variety of reasons that are acceptable for getting back together:
- The break-up at the time was sensible and made for a rash decision
- You experienced a big emotional fight which led to the break-up
- You were actually happy most of the time you were together
- You both want the same things in life
(Now this is important… You are going to implement the no-contact rule for a month, right? Well, you ain’t gonna just sit there and twiddle your little thumbs getting all desperate and depressed about your lack of action. Nope. Not a bit of it! What you are going to do is to set your goals and work towards your goals with respect to having a new and BETTER relationship. And how do you do that? You focus on the one thing that you can control. And what’s that? YOURSELF!)
And here’s a bit of a reminder as to the rules of the no-contact agreement we made together previously. Not that I wish to bore you, but it’s vitally important:
– No texting. No calling. No emailing. No Facebook snooping.
– It’s preferable that you do not dig into your ex’s life whatsoever.
– Should your ex call you, text you, email you, Facebook you, Twitter to you – you should NOT respond!
– Do not listen to anything that ‘supposedly’ your ex has said about you.
And, if you do break the 30-day no-contact period, then I’m afraid that you will have to begin all over again, as difficult as that may seem.
Things That Should be Avoided Within the No-Contact Period
- Staying in bed all day because you feel lousy
- Staying at home all the time and never venturing out
- Partaking in too much drinking of alcohol (it’s okay to go out with your friends for an occasional social however)
- Telling EVERYONE about your break-up
- Going about making big life decisions
- Calling your work up regularly and claiming that you are too unwell to attend
That said, those are fairly much the basics about the big NO-NO factors during the no-contact period. So, let’s now progress to the good stuff.
This part is pretty exciting, because it’s from this point that you begin to take the steps that are required in order to get your ex-boyfriend back again. For sure, they are baby steps, but as the saying goes, or something like this – one single step is all it takes to begin a thousand mile journey.
Right, so the biggest thing to focus on throughout the period of no-contact is that you are going to use this month to endeavor to become a much better ‘version’ of you. Better than perhaps you’ve ever been before. There’s a huge possibility, particularly so if you are successfully adhering to the no-contact format, that your ex is going to try to find out about you during this period of time. And when (or if) he does, you want him to see you as being a strong, humorous, sexy, fun-loving woman. You see where this is going, right?
And before we progress, please do not take any offense about what I’m about to say to you. This is all about helping you, not hindering you…
Making Physical Changes
First of all, you are going to try to become the sexiest ‘version’ of you that no-one has ever seen before. Just for a moment, let’s presume that you and I were dating together, but we had a big fight and we broke up. During the first month after the break-up, you are pretty much freezing me out of your life (the no-contact period). But one day, within that first 30 day period, I bump into you in… the local supermarket.
And the first thought that I’m going to have about you will be based on those choices that you made during the 30 day no-contact period (or however many days it’s been up to the point in time of our meeting).
If you were of the mindset to have sat around feeling really sorry for yourself, and you ate too much ice cream or chocolate or whatever, while you lay on the couch for much of that time, what do you think I’m going to think?
“She looks pretty rough…”
But, if you if instead you spent that time working on yourself both physically and mentally, the chances are pretty decent that I’m not going to think that you look ‘rough’. The chances are that I’m going to think that you look GREAT! You look HOT! You look even more attractive than I remember…
Did I just come up with this theory out of thin air? No. It really did happen to me.
I was dating a girl for a while, and once we broke up, about 3 weeks later, I happened to meet her in the local supermarket where we both used to do our shopping together, on occasion anyhow. Even though our conversation in the supermarket was short, fairly friendly, but nothing more than that, I honestly couldn’t stop thinking about her once we’d parted company because she looked fantastic!
She looked so good, that I was kicking myself, and saying to myself “Why the hell did I let her get away?!”
The Physical Changes You Can Make…
Before moving any further, I urge you to check our revolutionary online course “Together Again Forever” where more in-depth information are provided.