Do We Really Understand Each Other?

Every time when we are in contact with somebody there is a big chance that we are not going to understand each other. The risk of misunderstanding is always there, even when we give our best. It is true that we are all different but being able to misunderstand the other side is for sure one thing that we all have in common.

Have you ever argued with your partner because you thought that he didn’t understand you good? Have you tried to explain to him how you feel or what you really wanted to say without getting frustrated or being mean to him? Did you keep some things for yourself just because you thought there is no way for him to understand you? Have you ever got so frustrated and you asked yourself if you really understand each other at all?

Sometimes it’s very hard to understand what the other person is trying to tell us. This all happens because we are obviously all different, and there is no way we can find out how the other person feels until we ask them. It’s hard to know how it feels to be in someone else’s shoes. We can find out all this things by asking that person for an explanation, it’s the only way.

Misunderstanding between two people in relationship usually begins with expecting something that is unlikely to happen. Why we make up our own stories? Why we like to stick to our own little versions in our minds so much? These are things that we all like to do even when we know that they are bad for us.

#1 can you read my mind?

One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is to expect that somebody will read your mind. There is no way that partner can know for sure how you feel if you don’t tell him. Typical example is when he doesn’t give you enough attention or compliments and instead talking with your partner about that, you start being more cold or angry every time he talks to you.

It happens that you put in your mind your own explanation before even trying to find out the real reason for this. Get out of your head and don’t worry when you don’t even know what is happening and why. Most of the time is not what you think.

#2 blast from the past

If you are the one who was mostly left behind in your past relationships, it’s very likely that you will think about yourself as a bad partner. What I mean is that you probably convinced yourself that you are not successful in relationships and it can affect your present relationship even if there is nothing wrong.

If you continue thinking about the past it can mess up a lot of nice things in your present, because you will be driven by these negative things whatever you do. After this it’s impossible to see somebody’s reaction as neutral or to see things how they really are. These thoughts that you are not good enough, that keep you worried and scared can easily blur your judgment. Don’t let your past affects something beautiful that you have now.

#3 you sound better in my head

There is also this big problem when we expect our partner to react just like we imagine him to react. This is maybe the most unreal expectation in relationships, but also the most common one. It can be very dangerous as it can easily push you to think that you didn’t find a good partner, or that he changed and you may start judging him for that.

To avoid this situations when you feel like nobody understands you keep in mind that we all have different reactions and we all show affection differently. Do not fall into doubt because of your unreal scenario and don’t jump into conclusions. Let’s go back to our example – it doesn’t have to mean that your partner is not giving you compliments because he is not attracted to you anymore; maybe he is not giving them that often because he is just very bad at them. If you relax maybe you will find out that reaction of your partner can be even better than the one that you had for him in your head.

#4 it’s better if I don’t say anything

If you feel bad after something that your partner said, the best thing to do is to talk with him about that. Tell him directly how you feel about something he did and ask him why he did it, simple as that. It is also important that you give him a chance to answer to you. Let him know that if your speculations are true that he should talk openly about it, and if it is not true that he should tell you that you are wrong. You should give him a chance to explain why he acts like that.

If you are not very outgoing this may sound like you are too pushy or demanding. However, if you are a person that usually freaks out easily in situations like this it may look very hard for you to control yourself. The truth is somewhere in the middle. The perfect solution would be what both of you deserve – a good old honest conversation. It is very important to be honest with your partner, without that your relationship doesn’t stand a chance.

There is always a possibility that even when you feel like you understand your partner it doesn’t mean that you actually understood him. Let go of the stories you tell yourself about whatever the situation is. Share your feelings with your partner and ask him everything you want to ask.  After that make sure you listen carefully what he has to say. This is one of the most important steps that will get you close to a passionate intimate relationship you always wanted.

For more guidelines how to keep him by your side or bring him back and build strong healthy relationship for good, click here.

{ 0 comments… add one }

Leave a Comment