When we stop to think how relationship works, we always think about that good old – guy meets a girl, girl likes the guy, they get to know each other more and after a while they break up or they stay together. In the end they even commit. This “simple” way still works for a lot of people, but what about others? Is it true that this world that we live in today, mostly made out of stress and lack of time, makes our relationships even more difficult than before? Or is it just that quest for love and then keeping it for good is much more complicated and confusing that it seems.
Maybe it’s hard to believe but roughly 60% of people have been in complicated relationships. When I say complicated relationship I mean relationship that never ends with a real brake up, as I call it – a clear breakup. Instead of that you have this cycle, a form of relationship that’s made of breaking up and making up just to break up again. This hot and cold situation makes a big roller coaster of intimacy, pain, passion and loss. Why this happens?
You break up because of fight, because of third person, because of things that you don’t like about your partner or yourself, or you are just generally unsatisfied with your relationship, but you don’t say it out laud. The problem starts when you don’t have open communication with your partner about reasons of your breakup. This leaves a lot of words unspoken and leaving things unfinished.
After this kind of breakup you start to doubt your decision. You want to get back together for all kinds of reasons. You may still have feelings for your partner, or you still believe that your partner is the one. There is also a big possibility that you just miss spending time together and enjoying in that sort of intimacy that you had in relationship. Also what makes you even more interested to bring your partner back is the thought that finding another partner is just too difficult and complicated. This is a good time to ask yourself few questions.
Is this healthy?
This kind of emotional roller coaster can be not only devastating for your relationship but also for your inner peace. After few times of making up and breaking up communication with your partner can only get more negative and your relationship will probably lose harmony, if it didn’t lose it in the first place. This kind of breakup is clearly more stressful. In this situation making up can be even more difficult and stressful than breakup itself. It makes you even less and less satisfied with yourself.
Is every complicated relationship bad?
If we want to understand these kinds of relationships, we should have in mind that not all them are the same. There are usually two kinds of complicated relationships.
You and your partner come to conclusion that the reason of breaking up can be only a test or a chance for improving your relationship. We will talk about this later.
This relationship makes you and your partner slowly falling apart. Here you have a pattern of breaking up and making up in hope that it will get better this time but it doesn’t get better. It will probably not get better until you actually sit down and listen to each other. Your needs are very important, and it’s very important to be honest with your partner. If you two continue with your silence after some very bad time that you will spend together you will break up for good.
Is trouble in paradise always a bad sign?
It is true that trouble between you and your partner can be a bad sign, but what is also true is that you shouldn’t be afraid of little trouble in paradise. This can be positive if couple sees their breaking up and making up like a way to make their relationship better. People that talk freely with their partner are generally more satisfied with their relationships. In this situation we can say that splitting has positive effect on us, but only if it’s making us communicate more.
You have to have in mind that relationship that brings couple slowly growing apart is less healthy. They break up but they still love and miss their partner, so they think about how relationship will be better this time. What they see after they get together again is that reality is not as they expected and then they breakup again. Don’t be confused, even the best couples do grow apart in certain aspects of their lives. Communication is the key, it makes a big difference.
Should couples make up after they break up?
If your partner leaves a chance for going back together, it’s definitely a good sign. You should keep in mind that it is a positive thing only if you openly talk about your relationship. You can see it as a new chapter where you can talk freely about your needs and expectations. You can decide to use this breakup period to see how your life looks like when you live separated from each other for a while. This can even bring you to the point of doubting your decision of breaking up in the first place.
If you are in relationship where you and partner had already made up couple of times, you should wait before you reconsider again. Like this you can have more time to think of all the advantages of going back together again. Explore all the options that may help you build a beautiful, strong and healthy relationship with your partner.
To make your relationship strong and beautiful for good you will need any help you can get. I recommend reading our blog and sharing your thoughts with us. We can choose topic together. For more info about guidelines how to get him back for good, see this link, it might help you http://www.togetheragainforever.com/