Continuing on from our last discussion “How to Get Your Ex Back – An Insight into Getting Your Ex-Boyfriend to Return to You“. If you have not read it, I urge to you read that first in order to get a continuation. Click here to read the previous post.
Best Relationship Breakup Advice-The Rule of No-contact
Prior to soul searching (natural part of the grieving process) and strategizing, you should firstly implement the ‘no-contact rule’.
And what does the ‘no-contact rule’ consist of?
Namely – no texting, no talking, and no stalking. At least for a month. I.E. at least 30 full days of ‘cutting’ your guy out of your life entirely. This also includes no Facebook contact (don’t even check his FB page) and no nothing else with respect to social media channels. Just drop it entirely, okay?
If you are unsure that this is a wise move, then it’s best that you rethink your strategy. When I said before that I’ve thoroughly studied what the relationship experts recommend – this is one of those recommendations, and they ALL agree. The ‘no-contact rule’ is a rule you MUST follow!
And why the ‘no-contact rule’?
Straight after breaking up, you are on the emotional roller-coaster ride. And that roller-coaster ride is not a good ride to be on. I am referring to emotions that include hate, anger, and basically everything else that you want to avoid, but can’t.
That said, the ‘no-contact rule’ will give you time to work things through and allow you to calm down. In turn, this allows for more rational thinking, rather than thinking with emotion.
It’s very possible that your ex is going to wonder why you are not talking to him. He may even begin to miss you, which is of course a definite possibility!
There’s all possibility that during this period, he will try to call you and/ or text you. It is IMPORTANT that you avoid contacting him. You must ignore his calls and/ or texts, as difficult as that may be.
You might hear via a mutual friend that he said something bad about you, and you may also have the feeling that he loathes you or that he wants nothing more to do with you. But don’t worry about that. This is probably an emotional entity, and in which case, it will pass, given some time. Chances are, after 30 days or so, he’ll change his tune.
Special Situations Where the ‘No-contact’ Rule Should be Broken
There are times when it’s particularly difficult to ignore an ex, and if you do, you’ll look like a total jerk. Here are a couple of those scenarios, and how you should handle them.
1. If you live together: in this case, the main goal is to become a respectful roommate. However, all interactions should be short, to the point, but at the same time – pleasant. Try to remain positive, as difficult as that might seem (keep the ulterior motive in mind at all times – it helps to remain positive).
2.Kids: if you have kids together, you don’t want your kids thinking that you’re being extremely selfish. If that is the case, again, keep your interactions very brief but courteous. And again, try to keep a positive mind.
Is there some sort of trend here?
What Caused the Breakup?
Understanding what actually caused the breakup is vital. This will give you a concept of where things went wrong, and what you can do to make corrections for the future.
Insight into Men
(do keep in mind that not ALL men think this way, but the ‘average’ man does…)
In the typical world, men prefer not to hurt the feelings of their partners (or ex-partners). As such, it’s possible that the reason they gave to you for the breakup might not be entirely true. Admittedly (after all, I, as the author of this website, am a man), many men do not even truly realize exactly why they want out of a relationship.
Nevertheless, the average man will want to part from a relationship once they are no longer getting what it is that they think that they want. And I am not necessarily referring to sex (though for some men, this is the key point for a break-up). I am referring to admiration and respect.
Men like to be admired and respected for who and what they are. They really like the ‘newness’ of a relationship. They want respect and they also like to see a significant amount of interest emanating from the female contingent.
Perhaps a decent way to describe this phenomena is:
Let’s say you just started to date a new guy. This is the ‘honeymoon’ phase, and everything appears to be fantastic. You shower him with compliments and constantly acknowledge to him that you want him. And for sure, he really enjoys hearing (and seeing) these acknowledgements. What that means is that he really likes that you are interested in him. Nevertheless, as time progresses, things do begin to change. First, there’s no need to shower him with as many compliments because you’ve already ‘landed your fishy’. And that in turn is when he begins to ‘see’ problems.
Another aspect to a relationship as it begins to mature is that you regularly hear guys complain that they are constantly being nagged by their partners.
Let’s break this down a bit…
The meaning of ‘nagged’: the man sees this to be that the woman is no longer satisfied with what he is offering. Of course, you need to express your feelings, but you need to find a more successful way of doing so. So, how about mixing up your little nagging sessions with plenty of love and continual admiration towards your guy? One nagging session equates to three loving/ admiration sessions, or something like that.