Assertiveness is Attractive to a Man

There is a very simple rule for your man to take you seriously. BE ASSERTIVE! There is nothing that a man likes more in a woman. Using a passive tone just won’t cut it. In fact, it will just show him that your thought processes are not concrete enough, or that you are confused about what you want.

Being assertive means you know what you want and what your view point on a relevant topic is, and then speaking about a view point in such a way that will reinforce those beliefs. Even though assertiveness is conveying those viewpoints without ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’, it does not mean that you have to be aggressive in order to do so.

If you are naturally not an assertive woman, it is totally alright. Do not pressurize yourself about it. This is because being assertive is a skill that can be learnt gradually and overtime. All it takes is to know the right tactics, tricks and a little change in behavior, and you are good to go.

How to be Assertive:

Look Confident:

Being assertive all starts with looking confident. If you are slouchy, or are not making eye contact, you will never be able to get your point across. And being assertive is all about getting your point across in a non aggressive manner.

Well Dressed:

Being well dressed does not necessarily mean wearing formal clothes all the time, or having perfect hair every day. It just means that, whether you are casually dressed, or in your pajamas, you should look sophisticated.

Know when to take a Stand:

You should know when there is a need to say something and when there is no need. For instance, if your waiter brings you the wrong order, you have the right to speak up. But if a cashier is lashing out on you for no reason at all, it is best that you let it go.

Be Honest to Yourself and to Others around You:

You should know what you want before wanting to be assertive about something. Be honest about the things that are important to you, and that you want to change around you. For instance, if there is something your partner does that you do not like or appreciate, let him know. Do not, however, be aggressive about it. That will make you seem defensive and weak.

Speak your mind and learn to say no when you have to. This will show other people what sort of a person you truly are and that you stand up for what you believe in.

Be Assertive, not Aggressive:

Being aggressive is not the same as being assertive. Where assertiveness is an act of being cool, calm, clear, precise and being in control, being aggressive leads you to overreact to little things and makes you less in control of your emotions. This affects your communication and hence, you fail to get your point across.

Slow and Clear Speech:

When making a point, or any statement, be clear about it. Do not jumble up your words and do not make your point unnecessarily draggy. This especially holds true for when you are communicating with your man. Men hate unnecessary twists and turns in conversations. They would rather have it simple and clear.

Benefits of being Assertive:

If you develop this habit of being assertive in your daily life, you will definitely reap the benefits that assertiveness gives you. Some of the benefits of being assertive are listed below:

  • Helps lower your daily stress levels and make you less angry
  • You are able to better communicate and express openly and effectively about how you feel
  • You stand up for what you believe in instead of staying silent and keeping it in
  • Helps boost your self esteem and confidence while earning other peoples respect
  • Improves on your decision making skills and makes you more aware of your wants and needs
  • Helps create honest relationships
  • Helps cope with some of the mental health problems such as social anxiety disorder and depression
  • Helps create win-win situations since you care about other people’s beliefs while stating your own beliefs
  • Helps gain more job satisfaction

It is important to note that those people who are not assertive are likely to be passive in their communication technique. Being passive means you simply agree to what other people are saying just for the heck of it, or that you are too shy to share your point of view.

If you are a passive woman and are in a relationship, your man will likely push you around because you are too scared or shy to say what you truly feel. Try to change that in you and you will see the same ‘pushy’ man agreeing to whatever you tell him.

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